Oct 31, 2012

How to improve your sex skills

Here are ways to enhance your sex life

The art of conversation
When was the last time you had a real conversation with your partner, where the two of you made requests and even promises? When was the last time you asked her intimate questions?

Often, in a long-term relationship, we take things for granted and fall into a routine. Find out what her fantasies are without judging her or laughing. You will be surprised to learn that her fantasies are very different from yours. Bring a few role-playing games into the bedroom to shed your inhibitions. This opens up more room for conversation and this will bring you closer together.

Men generally have very visual and carnal fantasies, but with women they are always about how the thoughts make them feel. Ask her to be honest and not worry about offending you or hurting your feelings. Ask her to show you what she likes and what she really dislikes.

It is incredibly sad that because of lack of communication couples have to endure stuff that completely annoys or repels them. That too with the one person who is supposed to be a source of pleasure!

Call her or send her a message during the day to ask her how she's doing. Let her know you are thinking of her and maybe thinking of the smell of her hair or the feel of her waist. Be sensual in your communication and not just not sexual. However, if she encourages you in her responses then go ahead, indulge is some 'sexting'--or sexual texting!

Hit her spot
Now for the part you have been dreading, and I am sure you will be shaking your head saying that this is my personal conspiracy favoring womankind. I promise you it is not what you're thinking!

If you want more action in the bedroom, pick up some of the slack in the other rooms as well. If you are married with kids, be a good father, spend time with the kids. If you live together, help out around the house.

Acknowledge that she needs rest just as much as you do. Guys often like to believe that when you come home from work, the TV should be yours and that you should not be disturbed while you unwind and that all your other needs should be fulfilled. But what about her needs?

Try it out for a week and I am sure you will be much happier. A little bit of kindness and housework never killed any one! And if you even have the audacity to shout at her or snap at her or even worse, if you are rude to her and put her down, you can kiss good sex goodbye!

You cannot expect your partner to do all the housework, look after the kids, be told off by you and then come to bed all turned on. She will come to bed alright, but she'll be exhausted and resentful. And those aren't ingredients for better sex!

(The author is a certified life coach who offers her services at Multi Coaching International. When she's not teaching people how to have better sex, she's helping scores of corporates, educational institutes, and individuals better themselves using her unique coaching techniques.)

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