Oct 25, 2012

How Long Should You Wait for Sex in a Relationship?


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When you’re starting out in a new relationship, timing can be a pretty important factor in many ways. After getting someone’s number, how long do you wait to call? Or after a first date, do you plan another one right away or wait to call and ask them out again? When do you consider you two to be in a relationship? When would it be ideal to bring sex into the relationship?

Recent research by Besikci, Agnew, VanderDrift, and Harvey investigated how the amount of time from the beginning of your relationship to the first time you and your partner had sex could affect the likelihood of breaking up. They found that on average, couples waited around 45 days before jumping in the sack with their partner, but some couples wasted no time whatsoever (0 days) while other couples seemed to have waited for marriage, or maybe had a bet with each other to see who could wait longer (412 days).

Overall, the researchers found that couples who waited longer to have sex were significantly less likely to break up months later.

A similar finding was found by Busby at Brigham Young University. He explains that if couples become sexually active too early in their relationship, it could complicate things quickly and affect the process of building your relationship, and eventually may cause the couple to split.

He also found that couples who had sex within a month of dating had the worst outcomes, and those who waited until after marriage had higher stability in their relationship, a more satisfying relationship, higher quality of sex, and greater communication.

Do you have an ideal time to wait for sex in a relationship? Have you had bad luck rushing into the physical aspect? According to this latest research, it might be a good idea to pump the brakes, at least for a little bit.