On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and
civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, 'What time is it?'
The tower responded, 'Who is calling?'
The aircraft replied, 'What difference does it make?'
The tower replied, 'It makes a lot of difference.. . If it is a commercial flight, it is 3 o'clock . If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on three. 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to 'Happy Hour.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. 'Your jeep stuck, sir?' asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
'Nope,' replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys. 'Yours is.'
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new Gp Capt was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the Groupie quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, 'Yes, Marshal, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir.'
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, 'What do you want?'
'Nothing important, sir,' the airman replied, 'I'm just here to hook up your telephone.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Officer: 'Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?'
Soldier: 'Sure, buddy.'
Officer: 'That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!'